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The Little Red Hen Revisited
I really never have been able to find out who wrote the updated version of the well-known fable, the Little Red Hen. I received a copy many years ago in the mail from a friend, who apparently got it from John S. Swift & Company. I present it both in this column and on the Free Enterprise Radio Network, right around the Labor Day Holiday, because it has so many things to say that I think need to be said in an entertaining way. Thus, with a few modifications to make it more acceptable, it is time once again for us to learn from the updated fable of The Little Red Hen.
Once upon a time there was a little red hen who scratched around the barnyard until she uncovered some grains of wheat. She called to her neighbors and said, "If we plant wheat we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me?"
"Not I," said the cow.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Not I," said the pig.
"Not I," said the goose.
Then said the little red hen, "I will plant it myself." And the wheat grew tall and ripened into golden grain. Then the little red hen asked, "Who will help me harvest this wheat?"
"Not I," said the duck.
"It’s out of my classification," said the pig.
"I’ll lose my position," said the cow.
"I’ll lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.
"Then I’ll harvest the wheat myself," said the little red hen. And she did. And at last it came time to bake the bread. And the little red hen asked, "Who will help me bake my bread?"
"That would be overtime for me, " said the cow.
"I’d lose my benefits," said the duck.
"I’m a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.
"If I’m to be the only helper, that would be discrimination," said the goose.
"Then I will bake the bread myself," said the little red hen. And she baked five loaves of beautiful brown bread. As the hen had just baked five loaves of bread, she held them up for her neighbors to see, and quite predictably they all wanted some. In fact, they all demanded their fair share. But the little red hen said, "No, I can eat the five loaves myself."
"Excess profits," yelled the cow.
"Capitalist leech," yelled the duck.
"I demand equal rights," shouted the goose.
And the pig just grunted and then hurriedly went off to paint "unfair" signs and march and picket around the barnyard.
Well, as might be expected, the government agent heard about the barnyard incident and the little red hen, and dropped by to pay her a visit. The government agent told the little red hen, "you must not be greedy."
"But," said the little red hen, "I earned the bread, I did all the work myself."
"Exactly," said the agent. "That is the wonderful free enterprise system. Anyone in the barnyard can work and earn as much as they can, but under government regulations the productive workers must divide their product with the idle."
And so it was, forced by government regulations, the little red hen shared her hard-earned bread with the others in the barnyard. And they all lived happily ever after. But the little red hen’s neighbors always wondered why SHE NEVER BAKED BREAD AGAIN.
So there you have it, another visit from the little red hen and her friends in the barnyard. Speaking of animals, we humans are an awful lot like Professor Pavlov’s dog. We respond positively to positive stimulus, and we respond negatively to negative stimulus. Thus it is that as some economists would tell you—if you want less of something, tax it; if you want more of something, subsidize or otherwise stimulate it. It’s pretty simple, it doesn’t have to get any more complicated than that, and it works. From the barnyard all the up to our global economy, where the United States of America, the leader of the worldwide movement toward free markets and free enterprise, enjoys the highest standard of living of any country on earth.
(Tom Butenhoff is a First Vice President with J. E. Liss and Company, Inc.
in Milwaukee. The views are his, and not necessarily those of Liss
Financial Services or the Job Connection/Hiring
Network.)