BACK • 
Just How Old are You, Anyway?
Anyone knows about the graying of America; the baby boomers are getting older and more and more of us are heading toward retirement or are already in retirement. The Social Security system is going to be stressed even further in the near future, and all that is just a demographic fact of life in America. But you remember the old saying, "You're only as old as you feel." I don't feel old, do you feel old? Well, perhaps this will give some new reality. An old friend of mine, "F.D." passed the following two items to me, which put into perspective just exactly how old a person might actually be. In this first instance, it's simply a question of how many of these things do you remember? Start counting and we'll tell you at the bottom, by one measure at least, how old you actually are.
1. Candy cigarettes 2. Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside 3. Soda pop machines that dispensed bottles 4. Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes 5. Blackjack chewing gum 6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers 7. Party lines 8. Newsreels before the movies 9. P.F. Flyers 10. Butch wax 11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (Drexel-5-5505) 12. Peashooters 13. Howdy Doody 14. 45 RPM records 15. S&H Green Stamps 16. Hi-fis 17. Metal ice cube trays with levers 18. Mimeograph paper 19. Blue flash bulbs 20. Beanie and Cecil 21. Roller skate keys 22. Cork pop guns 23. Drive ins 24. Studebakers 25. Wash tub wringers
According to the rules, if you remembered five or less, you're still young. If you remembered between six and fifteen, you are getting older and according to "F.D." if you remember more than 16, you are flat out old.
Along a similar vein, and again, just to put your age in perspective with the rest of the world, "F.D." passes along that each year the staff at Beloit College here in Southeastern Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of today's incoming freshmen. If you just recently entered college, here's your perspective:
1. The people who started college last fall across the nation were born in
1982.
2. They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan Era and probably did
not know he had ever been shot.
3. Black Monday 1987 is as significant to them as the Great Depression.
4. There has been only one Pope.
5. They were 11 when the Soviet Union broke apart and do not remember the
Cold War.
6. They have never feared a nuclear war.
7. They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.
8. Tianamen Square means nothing to them.
9. Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
10. Bottle caps have always been screw-off and plastic.
11. The statement "You sound like a broken record" means nothing to them.
12. They have never owned a record player.
13. As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 33 cents.
14. They have always had an answering machine.
15. Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, nor have they seen
a balck and white TV.
16. They have always had cable TV.
17. There have always been VCRs.
18. They cannot fathom not having a remote control.
19. Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
20. Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
21. They have never seen Larry Bird play.
22. They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
23. The Vietnam war is as ancient history to them as WWI, WWII and the
Civil War.
24. They have no idea that Americans were ever held hostage in Iran.
25. They never heard: "Where's the beef?" "I'd walk a mile for a Camel" or
"De plane de plane!"
26. They do not care who shot J.R. and they have no idea who J.R. is.
27. The Titanic was found? They thought we always knew where it was.
28. They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.
* * *
On the economic front, the poor stock market action notwithstanding, the economy continues to slow, but it certainly hasn't stopped, and there is still no persuasive evidence that we are really in full blown recession. Manufacturing continues in a lot of trouble, but that is only 15% of the economy. The rest of the economy, including the all-important housing and auto industries, is actually holding up quite well. The unemployment rate remains at historically very low levels-currently 4.2%. And interest rates are coming down, even if not as fast as some would like. Historically, tax cuts and interest rate cuts have always been powerful medicine for the economy and in turn the stock market, and I simply don't believe that we're going to rewrite the rulebook this year.
(Tom Butenhoff is a First Vice President with J. E. Liss and Company, Inc.
in Milwaukee. The views are his, and not necessarily those of Liss
Financial Services or the Job Connection/Hiring
Network.)